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The Mulch Gardening Personality Test

Gardeners are a special breed.  We often do strange things — things that non-gardeners wouldn’t understand. How many of these things have YOU done?

We see a great looking plant on the street and we stop to check it out. We spend hours and hours primping, nurturing, fertilizing, pruning, mulching, weeding and countless other things in anticipation of that beautiful flower, that delicious piece of tree ripened fruit, or that indescribable delicacy called a vine ripened tomato. But no matter what, we are always thinking about our plants.  Granted, not every gardener is the same, and some do much more than others, but we all share that special passion for plants. 

With all this in mind, we’ve put together this little test to see how far you’ve gone (not how much you know) in the pursuit of gardening nirvana. Just check off the things you’ve done and we’ll total them up.  There are no right or wrong answers, just different levels of experience and passion.

Now it’s time to dig deep into your memory and have some fun. No one is looking, so be honest! 
How many of these things have you done?

1. Talked to a plant
2. Named a plant
3. Apologized to a plant
4. Hunted snails at night
5. Pulled a weed at night
6. Pulled a weed from someone else's garden (without them knowing)
7. Pulled a weed from someone else’s garden while you were talking with them (because you just couldn’t help it).
8. Transplanted a plant more than 3 times
9. Pruned someone else’s rose without their permission "because it needed it" (or if you've ever seriously thought about doing it.)
10. Phoned your local nursery to find out the exact day the bare root trees arrive.
11. Planted something you knew wouldn't grow in your region, but you just had to try.
12. Joined a gardening club.
13. "Borrowed" a clipping of a great plant from someone's garden without asking.
14. Stopped by your local nursery on the way home from work "just to check things out".
15. Hid a newly purchased plant from your spouse/significant other.
16. Made a compost pile.
17. Raised worms in your garden.
18. Ever made worm poop tea.
19. Chased a bird or birds from your garden while yelling "Caw Caw, Shoo, scat" or any other funny sound that you would be embarrassed about if someone heard you.
20. Made a hydrangea flower turn blue.
21. Tried to graft something.
22. Took a picture of your garden and sent it to someone without them asking for it.
23. Picked up earthworms from the street/gutter after a rainy day and took them home and put them in your garden.
24. Gave unsolicited gardening advice to someone you don't really know.
25. Subscribe to 3 or more gardening websites.
26. Worked in your garden while still in your pajamas because you ‘accidentally’ stepped outside before getting dressed.
27. Lightly touched all (or a bunch) of the flowers on your fruit trees to “help” the bees pollinate them.
28. Asked for bags of mulch, potting soil, or special gardening product (not a plant) for your birthday, Christmas, Mother’s Day or Father's Day.


How do you compare?


  • 1-5 - You’ve just begun to enjoy the benefits of gardening. Keep up the good work, just think of all of the great things you have to look forward to.
  • 6-10 - You’ve got a good start on your path to gardening bliss.
  • 11-15 - Now we’re talking, I bet the people at the gardening center recognize you when you walk in.
  • 16-20 - Very good. You can officially consider yourself obsessed.
  • 21-27 - Excellent, you are truly a gardener at heart. If your plants could talk they’d tell you they love you!
  • All 28 - Simply amazing. You are to be commended for the time and energy you give to your plants. You are in a truly elite class of gardening fanatics. Keep up the good work!

We’ll leave it up to you if you want to tell anyone your score (especially if you got more than 20). Number 23 is my favorite, my mom and dad do this all of the time, and when I was a teenager I thought they were absolutely nuts. But now that I’m 42 I have to admit I’m getting pretty good at it (the secret is to get them before they drown or dry up).

I hope you enjoyed our test. If you have any suggestions for additions to the test, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.


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Julie Wolpers
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